Job interviews are just one of those
things you’re probably going to
have to face at some point or other
in your life. If you’re reading
this, I’m guessing you’re
facing one soon. While I’m certainly
not an expert about how to act in a
job interview, I’ve been on so
many that I feel I’ve become very
comfortable with the art of how to answer
job interview questions.
If you’ve never been on a job
interview and are wondering how to
answer job interview questions, here’s
some advice from me to you. First
of all, lie. Lie like crazy, don’t
ever tell them anything that remotely
resembles the truth. Also, talk really
fast and a few octaves too high; that
way they won’t really know what
you’re saying but it’ll
sound important. If you can, master
a language your interviewers don’t
know, and answer all their questions
in that language. I’ve found
that Swahili is a good language, as
not many interviewers speak it and
it generally sounds good. If you don’t
have time to learn a new language,
just make one up.
This method on how to answer job
interview questions is sure to work.
If your interviewers for some reason
become agitated, its probably because
they’re so excited about your
potential. Generally, a proper response
to agitation in your interviewers
is to stand up and do an impression
of some farm animals. I prefer roosters,
but that’s just me.
If you actually follow any of the
above advice on how to answer job
interview questions, that’ll
be just a little less competition
for me. In all seriousness, it isn’t
as hard as you think to answer job
interview questions and sound good.
The most important thing to do is
prepare ahead of time. Practice answering
typical job interview questions to
yourself several times before going
in; job interviewers can tell if you
are unprepared and it just doesn’t
look good.
When you answer job interview questions,
definitely be honest, and look your
interviewers right in the eye. Good
eye contact conveys confidence, which
is something you definitely want to
convey. Rely on your own natural conversation
skills when you answer job interview
questions rather than trying to sound
a ‘certain way’. I certainly
don’t mean use slang or swear
words, but just talk like you would
with someone you just met at a party.
Your interviewers are just people,
and will respond to you like any other
people will.
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